Sunday, May 12, 2013

My thing with Mother's Day

I'm not a fan of Mother's Day. It's no secret, though it may seem like a mystery considering I'm the mother to two amazing kids. I thank God every day for them and that I was given the job of raising them. They're loving, funny, affectionate, smart and I adore them. They remind me almost daily how much they love and appreciate me. I am so blessed to be their mother.

That being said, I don't like today.

It comes down to a few things for me. Obviously, I hate that I don't have my own mom here. I miss her every single day. It makes me think about Mother's Day 1981 when we found my grandmother dead in her home from heart failure. It makes me think about the child I miscarried in 1992. Mother's Day isn't a joyful thing for me. It's like an anniversary of loss. I hate that.

It also bothers me that Mother's Day has morphed into some sort of "Let's Celebrate Women" holiday. Having had a miscarriage, I understand the pain this day can bring to those women who are barren or who have suffered the death of a child. I respect you, your pain and your desires.

What bugs me, however, is all the "Happy Mother's Day to all the fur-baby owners!" and the cousins, and the aunts, and the women who chose NOT to have children and..and..and... c'mon. Are we really going to cheapen and trivialize the pains and joys of motherhood by lumping mothers in with anyone who has ever purchased a bra? or a dog leash? or babysat for a neighbor kid once when they were in 8th grade?

I own pets, too. Love them as much as I love my own children. Grieved their deaths like they were human, but that doesn't make me a mother. It makes me an animal lover. 

Not everyone is a mother and that's fine. Celebrate them the other 364 days of the year. Today? should be sacred. Today is for moms, mother-figures, surrogate moms, mothers-to-be, mothers-who-were, mothers-who-weren't-meant-to-be and moms-who-will-never-be-again. Can we please just have ONE day that's ours?

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