Wednesday, March 21, 2012

What are you waiting for?

Most of you know how much of a Pinterest junkie I am and have probably seen my bucket list board. It contains things I've already accomplished as well as the things still left to be done before I die. I realized the other day, as I thought over the last two months and the shit my crazy life has slung me lately, that these things on my bucket list aren't going to do themselves.

I may live another 40 years or I may die tomorrow. I don't have any way of knowing when my time is coming, so the only thing I'm accomplishing by procrastinating my bucket list is...well, procrastinating my bucket list. And there's some fun stuff on there!

So here's the thing. Each month, for the rest of the year, I'm going to do something on my list.

Let's see how many I accomplish!

211. Visit Boston. We flew into Boston on March 29th and stayed til April 2nd.
214. Visit NKOTB's childhood homes. Becky took us on a brief tour in Dorchester on 3/30/12
244. Hug a stranger (in Boston). 3/30/12 Random guy on Commonwealth Ave who gladly hugged me.

1. Get tickets to the Ellen show April 10
31. Go to a Celtics game. 4/1/12 vs. Miami Heat. Celtics won 91 to 72.
84. Visit the Hollywood Walk of Fame. April 11
97. Make my best friend's dream come true. Ann Marie wanted to be Jordan's "Rockstar" in Boston. So, using my cell phone as a makeshift strobe/spotlight, I got Victor & Charlie's attention and they pulled her up on stage for Rockstar.  
104. Be kissed unexpectedly. 4/9/12 Somebody who I never even pictured having the time to read my blogs (especially the one with my long-ass bucket list) DID read my blog and planted a kiss on me that blew my mind. Nothing pornographic, mind you -- just completely unexpected. It was the perfect surprise kiss.
229. Drive along the Pacific Coast Highway. April 8, 2012 with Ann Marie and Rissa.
233. Visit L.A. April 8 to see Sherri on Dancing with the Stars (and SO much more!) 

(I was a little busy in May with my surgery)

40. Tell them they saved my life. June 7, 2012 He didn't believe me. There will have to be further explanation. UPDATE: There was further explanation. He gets it now.
261. Ride in a glass-bottom boat. June 8, 2012 Half Moon Cay, Bahamas

(I was busy trying to beat depression.)

3. Try yoga. November 8, 2012

92. Make a perfect Thanksgiving Turkey. December 2012 - Okay, so technically, it wasn't Thanksgiving, but the bird was pretty incredible!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Sometimes you just can't...

I have a lot of family members. Just on my mother's side alone, I have two siblings, four nieces/nephews, two niece-in-laws (and one-to-be), two great-nephews, three aunts, five cousins (plus their spouses...and their kids). Add in my father's sides (yes, I have two dads) and we're talking over a hundred relatives, easily. I am usually thankful that we don't all live in the same place because planning family events with everyone would be virtually impossible.

For me, I've always tried to stay neutral when there are disagreements among family members. That doesn't mean if somebody acts like an idiot I don't call them out. I do. Any of my relatives will tell you they've been on the receiving end of a Melanie-chew-out at least once. Some people don't understand my reasons for trying to stay neutral. That's easy: it's what my mom would've done. She'd have said her peace, of course, but in the end she would've loved both parties equally. It what she did and it's what she taught me.

I am not my mother, however. And the longer I deal with the idiotic choices of some of my family members, the more I realize how VERY unlike my mother I really am.

I have come to terms recently with just how short life really is. In the blink of an eye, it can completely change course. You can go to the doctor with what looks like a boil and come out with an appointment with an oncologist. That's some scary shit right there. If you've never looked your own mortality in the face, I suggest giving it a try. It'll change your way of thinking.

Because of my own recent glimpse at my mortality, I'm done being neutral. I'm done trying to find the good in people who, for the most part, have very little good left to show the world -- whose every action exhibits hate and bitterness instead of the forgiveness and understanding they claim to have. Now don't get me wrong; I love my family unconditionally. But that doesn't mean I won't eliminate my contact with them if they bring toxicity to my life. 

I can be quoted as telling a family member a couple weeks ago, "I won't choose sides, but if you force me to, you won't like what side is chosen." They tested me. They're finding out the hard way.

I love my family, but sometimes I just can't have them in my life.