Thursday, October 13, 2011


By now, you've probably told yourself, "Damn, that Mel knows her shit!"

Okay, so maybe you haven't. BUT, you can't deny that sometimes I give some pretty spot-on advice. Of course, sometimes I'm a little out there, but hey, at least I'm funny, right?

People have told me for years I should have my own advice column. Well, as soon as the AP gets my phone number, I'll get right on that, but until then, I'm here. In the interwebz.

Now, I realize I'm no Ann Landers (Did you know even Ann Landers wasn't Ann Landers?) and I'm no Dear Abby (again, neither was she). I'm sure as hell not Miss Manners and I'm not Heloise or Dr. Laura. I'm not even Dr. Ruth (though I could TOTALLY rock a sex column!). I'm just me. I've got 37 years experience in this crazy train called life. I'm not an expert in much, but if I can't provide you solid advice, I can sure as shit make you laugh.
So let's hear your questions! Tweet or email me now. (I will keep you as anonymous as you choose to be.)

*DISCLAIMER* My "advice" is for entertainment purposes only. Any information I may provide is not meant to be taken as professional advice, therapy or a substitute for medical/psychological/financial guidance. In other words, don't fucking take me seriously because while sometimes I'll have some good suggestions, I am not a professional. If you do decide to take my advice, you're liable for the repercussions, not me. Don't be a dumbass, that's my job, k?


  1. Look, I'm still trying to think of a question, but whilst I was thinking I read your disclaimer. Whattya mean YOU get to be the dumbass? Since I am no doubt older than you, I was a dumbass FIRST, thus I have seniority dumbassedness. You can still be one, but you have to SHARE. And I'm still working on that question thing...but I'm feeling pressured now. So, what's the best way to relieve question pressure? You don't have to answer that, it's not a very good question, not even mildly. I'll work on it.

  2. Well, I suppose you *can* be a dumbass, but just don't blame it on me. hehe

  3. Mel, I still haven't thought of a useful question, but I'm rather surprised that no one else has either. Hrmph. Not gonna stop you from posting again, though, right?
    And trust me, the blame for my dumbassedness - all mine. *grin*

  4. Nope! Won't stop me from posting. Just not feeling particularly inspired right now. :)