Wednesday, March 24, 2010

What it means...

Many have asked me what my tattoo is on the back of my neck. It's the letter "S" (some have thought it was some sort of symbol). It stands for many things - I'll detail them here:

Those who are important to me:
My children's names
My husband's last name (and mine, too of course)
Shaindy - a Hebrew name my friend Heine gave to me

My hobbies and passions:
Scrapbooking - I've done it for years and have spent so much time archiving my past and the past of those who've gone before me.
Shutterbugging - Always a passion and now my career
Singing - Music is paramount in my life. I love singing and while my voice will never win me a Grammy, it's nice to just cut loose once in a while
Story-teller - I love writing and reciting stories

Things to describe me: Sensitive, Sassy, Sentimental, Scarred, Sociable, Seductive, Sensible, Saucy, Sensual, Self-searching, Sexy, Snarky, Submissive, Spoiled, Smart, Survivor, Strong, Shy, Sympathetic, Sincere, Spontaneous, Supportive, Sweet, Scrumptious, Sanguine, Sultry...among others.

Monday, March 22, 2010

So...whatcha writin'?

I've buried myself to the hilt in writing a book.

And, of course, by "book," I mean this fictional monstrosity that won't die and absorbs every minute of my waking existence.

I've had many people ask me what I'm writing, what it's about, when will they get to read it, blah blah.

What's it about?: It's fan-fiction, though it extends well beyond that as the story progresses. Loosely, it's about a girl who meets up with an old flame almost a decade after they break up. They attempt to rekindle their romance, but there are complications and hurdles they must overcome. Overall, the book focuses on lost opportunities and how many of them the main character will be willing to endure before she finally does something about it.

When can I read it?: Unless I go through when I'm finished and REWRITE the entire thing replacing names and scenarios, I will never share it with a publishing company, much less get it into the hands of curious readers. As it's written right now, it's toward one very small audience. Outside that audience, no one would read it, as is.

Is it well-written? I've been told so by those who have read it.
Is it a good story? Again, I've been told so.
Am I happy with the storyline? Absolutely. However, I don't want to get anyone's hopes up that you'll actually get to read it.

I've compared this book to a practice pancake. You know what I mean: that first scoop of batter out of the batch that soaks up all the Pam in the skillet. It looks like hell, tastes even worse and nobody but the dog will eat it, but it seasons the pan for the rest of the pancakes. That's what this book is to me: my practice pancake.

That being said, I have been given some writing prompts recently by a friend of mine and the memoirs that really can (and hopefully will) be published will start to flow more freely.

Anyway...for those who've wondered where I've been, now ya know.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Honey, you're right!

Dear Hubby,
You're often telling me how great I am and that I don't give myself enough credit. You're right.

So tonight, I'm going to give myself credit where credit's due.

Today, I did the following:

1. Folded three baskets of clothes that were left on the washer.
2. Washed seven other loads of laundry and dried/folded/put them away.
3. Put away the clothes that were on the dresser.
4. Made the bed.
5. Vacuumed the bedroom, living room, hallway, office and what I could get to in Midget's room.
6. Washed and put away two loads of dishes.
7. Hand-washed what couldn't go in the dishwasher, dried & put away.
8. Got the grease stains out of your favorite shirt.
9. Wiped down the kitchen counters.
10. Swept the kitchen floor.
11. Scrubbed both bathrooms/toilets.
12. Dusted/Windexed the living room coffee table.
13. Took out four trashcans worth of garbage to the can.
14. Made dinner and cleaned up afterward.
15. Convinced Midget to do her homework and got her in the shower without argument.
16. Sat and watched a movie (a bad one, at that), spending quality time with my family.

AND I did all those things on less than 6 hours of sleep.

Tomorrow, I'm going to strut around here like I'm the most awesome fucking person on the planet. A parade isn't necessary, but a big fat thank you would be welcome.

Your wife

Friday, March 5, 2010

You were loved.

Dear Jordan,
You'll probably never read this, but I hope as you go through life with your new family that you never forget that you are loved by your biological one. You will not be forgotten.

There were choices made by your parents that may have you question your worth as a person, but I hope you realize that you are loved. Loved beyond words. By all of us.

I regret not having stepped forward when your grandma asked me for help with your custody case. I can't say that my testimony would've made a difference, but at least I may not have felt as helpless as I do right now. I could rest, knowing that I'd done everything I could to keep you with our family.

I'm sorry that we won't celebrate birthdays and holidays with you. I'm sorry that you won't know the love that our family is capable of sharing. I pray someday you'll find some meaning to all that's happened to you in your young life. Until then, I wish you joy.

I trust that God has sent you on this particular path for a reason and that your foster/adoptive family will love you as much as we do...that they will give you all the things your parents couldn't have...that you will have a life that would've been otherwise impossible.

I love you, Baby J and I will miss you very much.

Your great-aunt Mel

(For those unfamiliar, my great-nephew Jordan was surrendered to the state by his mother when he was just a year old. Since then, my nephew and sister both have attempted to gain custody of him. Due to personal reasons I won't discuss here, the judge revoked parental rights to my nephew and in a decision today has also granted custody of my great-nephew to the state. This means that he will be placed up for adoption and will be adopted by his foster family. This decision hereby ends any familial rights any of us have to see him.)

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Enough, already.

I'm not sure where to begin with this without it coming across as a target for further insults, but enough's enough. I'm at my breaking point and while I pride myself on having a great sense of humor, it's just no longer funny.

You've got your favorite actor or musical artist. You've got that supermodel you absolutely drool over. You may obsess about NASCAR or football. You might have a video gaming habit, complete with a headset, monster-sized monitor and your own online network of gamers. You may throw yourself into politics and comment about the President's last speech or what Hannity had to say on yesteday's radio show. You may be an animal lover and adopt lots of pets. You may be incredibly religious and involved with church activities. Regardless of what interests you, those interests are yours. They're something you're passionate about. I may not share your interest, but I don't push my feelings about your interests onto you. That would be rude. What you choose to do with your free time is up to you.

So tell me, then, why do you think it's okay to make fun of me for my love for New Kids on the Block?

I take care of my family, I pay my bills, my house is clean and no one is being neglected. I take interest in other things like reading, watching movies and television. I socialize with my friends. I don't force you to listen to their music or watch their videos. I don't drag you to their concerts or convince you that you have to like them in order to be my friend, so what's the fucking issue here?

Are you so insecure in yourself that you have to shit all over my fun? Really? That's pathetic.

In the last two years, I've had everything about my life, my hobbies, my travel and even my familial relationships questioned by those around me. They ask my husband how he feels about this 'whole New Kids thing.' They've even gone so far as to start rumors about the demise of my marriage because of 'this obsession.' Let me clarify something right now: It's not your business. If there's a problem between my husband and I, after ten years of marriage, I think we've figured out how to communicate with one another. We don't need your meddling or your 'good intentions' interfering with how we're handling a situation, whether it be 'this obsession' or anything else. I can't imagine if my husband had a gambling problem that you'd have the gaul to stick your nose into our marriage and question how we were handling it, so why do you think it's ok to do it here?

If you don't like what I say on my blogs, Facebook or Twitter, you're welcome to unfollow me. In fact, I'm asking you to. Who you decide to follow should be based on what you want to see. If what I say gets on your nerves, then you don't need to follow me. You're not going to hurt my feelings by unfollowing me. I'm a big girl. I can handle it. The same is true on my end. I follow people who lift my spirits and make me feel good about myself. If you're insulting me or teasing me all the time, that doesn't do either of those things. You will be cut. Same goes for being around me in person. I'm not going to rein in who I am and what I enjoy simply because you have a problem with it. That's your problem, not mine. Again, you're free not to hang out with me. I'm not going to be offended.

"Geez, Mel. When did you lose your sense of humor?" Actually, I haven't lost my sense of humor. What I've lost is patience. I'm tired of being made of. I'm tired of being the butt of your stupid jokes. I'm tired of defending myself constantly for things that bring me a lot of joy to an otherwise hum-drum life.

I've been a New Kids on the Block fan since I was fourteen years old. They brought me through some very, very difficult times in my life. I was teased mercilessly in school for liking them and I'm teased mercilessly now. And I'd like to think that I've been a good sport for twenty-two years, but I've reached my breaking point.

Shut up. Move on.

I won't be discussing this again.

***Oh, and just for the record if I hear the term "New Fags on the Block," "Old Men on the Block" or any derivative of those just once more, I will not hesitate to bitch slap you.