- You. Are. Not. Fat.
- See that crazy Asian girl sitting over there by the fireplace all by herself? She needs you. And you need her. It will always be that way.
- Your obsession with these five guys from Boston will never end.
- But that's okay because twenty years from now, you're not only going to have met them, but they're going to know you by name and face.
- Don't spend so much time trying to be grown up. You had to. I get it. But now? The pressure's off. Enjoy being young so you don't spend the rest of your life trying to be sixteen again.
- Don't waste your time trying to fit in with the cool kids. Be who you are and they'll flock to you.
- Stop being so self-conscious.
- Those hickies make you look like a slut. Stop it.
- Start deciding what you want to do now because that whole wife/mom thing isn't all it's cracked up to be some days. You'll want to have something to fall back on when it falls apart.
- You're going to be given an ultimatum to stay a cheerleader or go to a YABE weekend. Go with your gut. You'll *never* regret that decision.
- I repeat, you are NOT fat.
- Don't be so hard on your brother and sister-in-law. This is a HUGE adjustment for them, too. Cut them a little slack and stop acting like a spoiled brat.
- Yes, Mom is proud of you.
- Call Dad more often and stay close. There's going to come a time when you wish you had.
- You're going to marry the wrong man, but that's okay because he's going to give you two beautiful children.
- You have plenty of time to settle down and have a family. Don't rush it. Take your time, explore your options. Open up your life to opportunities farther away than this one little state. Try Boston College, NYU or Northwestern. You're smart enough to get into any of those three schools.
- You've got a great voice. Sing and be heard.
- That Asian girl? Call her more often and don't let her slip away. Remember what I said about her needing you.
- It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to say "Why Me?" Say it. Feel it. Be it. Then get over it. You are not a victim. You're a survivor.
- Write more.
- Use birth control. Always. It not only can happen to you. It will happen to you.
- There's something coming along in about five years called "The Internet." It's going to both ruin your life and save your life. It will bring people into your circle you never thought possible. Some will be there to build you up. Some to break you down. Embrace them all with open arms (just be sure to listen to your gut on that whole breaking-you-down thing. The signs will be there).
- You will drift away from your siblings over the next twenty years. It's okay. They will be replaced by "brothers" and "sisters" that love you more than you realize. I can't explain it. Just go with it.
- Stay away from the Sun-In and the hair bleach. Blonde is not your color.
- That pimple-faced kid is sweet, but he's not the one.
- And for God's sake, don't sleep with him.
- Pay more attention in English and take some lit classes.
- Congratulations on just saying no to drugs.
- Ask your sister-in-law to teach you how to manage your money.
- How many times do I have to say it? You are not fat.
Friday, November 5, 2010
#tweetyour16yearoldself: The Blog
Inspired by a recently trending topic, I decided instead of spamming my followers with all the advice I had for my teenage self, I would blog about it. Some advice is funny. Some not-so-much. All of it's the truth.
at 2:16 AM