I'm a summer baby, through and through. Then again, I hate the heat and humidity that Iowa summers bring. Hell, I dunno what I like anymore. All I know is that I'm sick to death of snow and cold. Our first snowfall was October 10th. Since then, we've had almost constant measurable snow: 57.5" total since it all began. The most alarming statistic, however is the 70 consecutive days with 5+ inches on the ground.
As I've said before, I'm no stranger to depression. My fight is a daily one to overcome the familiar (and oddly comfortable) feelings of depression and anxiety. I chose three years ago not to use medication. I didn't however swear off alcohol, hehe. Though, I do recognize that it doesn't help. Just helps distract me from the blah.
Today, the sun broke through the clouds that have plagued us for the last two months and I happily opened my blinds and let it pour in. The cats were happy, of course, as they basked in its gloriousness, quickly sprawling out across the living room floor. I was less enthusiastic, but nonetheless cheerful, despite my 4:30 AM wake-up.
I spent most of yesterday in bed. I was tired, but I think most of it was depression wrapping its nimble fingers around me and pulling me under. I gave in. I'm not proud of that, but it is what it is. I slept almost 15 hours (a small awake period during the Bachelor - hullo? VIENNA? Jesus, Jake, what are you THINKING?!) and while I didn't sleep well the last half of the night, I do feel better than I have in days. Could be the sleep, could be the sunshine. I don't care. I'll take it.
I even felt good enough to do my hair and make-up. Hubby asked me this morning "Got a hot date I don't know about?" Hardly. I just didn't feel like being a complete sloth for the 70th day in a row. I even took a few self-portraits. I'm smiling in some of them, but if you look closely, you can see those nimble fingers wrapped around me.
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