Friday, June 26, 2009

Gone Too Soon

I want so badly to be able to write about meeting up in Chicago with my girls for the NKOTB show. I want to make you laugh and wish you were here with us, but I can't bring myself to be funny right now. I have such a heavy heart and have been this way all night.

Regardless of what you thought of the man as a person, Michael Jackson was one of the most amazing artists of all time...and he will be missed. The music industry was forever changed because of his life.

May his legacy be not one of shame...but one of talent, kindness and love.

God bless you, Michael. May your death be more peaceful than your life.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Miss you, Dad

Without writing for the next six hours about the relationship I had with my dad, I'm going to try to sum up a list of memories I have of him.

Dad, I remember....
1. "wrasslin" with you when I was a kid
2. the pancakes you made me that were bigger than the plate. I still don't know how you ever flipped those suckers.
3. reading bedtime stories to you because you couldn't read very well.
4. sitting on your lap steering while you worked the "foot feet" in the car when I was 10
5. when you whipped the hell out of Duchess for bucking me off when I was 5
6. that Christmas when you and Mom tricked me by wrapping up a Cabbage Patch Kid as a gift to you and you told me to unwrap "your" present.
7. the time you took PeeWee, our lamb, to the auction house and came home with two goats (I can't believe Mom didn't strangle you)
8. fishing with you on the Skunk River bridge
9. the silver heart pendant you gave me for Christmas the year mom died (which I still have)
10. how your hand felt resting over the top of mine when you gave me away at my first wedding.

There are sad memories, too...
1. Standing in our driveway crying on my 8th birthday because you had to leave on a run (he was a truck driver)
2. Seeing you tied up to so many tubes in '83 when you had your heart attacks
3. Having you leave for good without so much as a goodbye or an explanation when you and mom divorced
4. Not having you there when I got remarried
5. Missing my chance to tell you goodbye before the cancer took you away.

I visit your grave, but not as often as I should, I suppose. I guess, to me, you're not there. You're on a run somewhere. You're calling us collect once or twice a week and you're loving the hell out of life. You're puffin' away on a cigarette or drinkin' a Schlitz. You're cussing out somebody who's pissed you off. You're lovin' up on mom, even though she never really got all that mushy with you. You're listening to Red Sovine on your tape deck and fudging your log books just a little. You're getting mouthy with the waitress because you know she secretly loves a good debate. You're on the riding lawnmower cutting the grass in our monster-sized yard. You're on a fishing boat in Minnesota catching a hoard of walleyes. You're giving us kids a dirty look for the bald jokes we flip at you. You're laughing that goofy laugh of yours. You're out there somewhere where it doesn't hurt...where life isn't hard...where unconditional love is the only love you experience. You're happy...and smiling...and watching over us kids and the grandbabies.

Not a day goes by when I don't think about you, Dad.

I miss you...and I'm sorry for the things I lost out on in your life.

I love you so much.

Daddy's Girl

Thursday, June 18, 2009

A revisit to Square Peg

A little over a year ago, I wrote a blog called "Square Peg in a Round Hole" and in going through my archives I wanted to revisit this one.

It's amazing to me what a year's time can do. These friendships with females that I seemed to have lacked all these years have finally arrived...and plentifully, I might add.

Thank you to my "Million Sisters" who have helped complete my life.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

People never cease to amaze me

"Just spent 15 minutes consoling a man on the street who had just gotten his heart broken. He was crying."
This was the status of an acquaintance of mine on Facebook this morning.

I'm so caught completely off guard by this random act of kindness that I can barely think of where to start. I commented to her that he may always remember the person who broke his heart, but without a doubt, he'd also always remember that perfect stranger who came along and hugged him at just the right time.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. Everything.

Is it a coincidence that my friend came along when she did? Did she just happen to be walking down that street and just happen to run across this man? Did the planets line up just perfectly to allow this act of kindess to occur? I don't think so. I think it was meant to be.

I was reading the news story this morning about the man who opened fire at the Holocaust Monument and was disgusted by what happened. I said "THIS! THIS kinda shit is why I don't watch the news. I don't want to hear about this!!" And then, not even two hours later, I see this message and I think to myself "THIS! THIS is why I don't watch the news....because you don't see THIS on the news." You only see pain and death and chaos. You don't see stories about selfless generosity like what happened here.

I am giving you a mission today - be selfless. DO something for someone ELSE today. Not for what you can get back. Not what it will say about you as a person. Do something that will make someone else smile today.